This has been a busy period of writing for me! Topics range from job search to engagement to leadership. So here is a round-up for those who may have missed something.
My Book! - I self-published my first book, called To Your Success! a motivational guidebook for anyone in transition, whether seeking a job, or seeking more meaningful work.
Keys to Success - After speaking to a local Professional Services Group gathering of job hunters about some of the points in my book, I published this article via examiner.com to reach a broader audience.
Importance of Invitation - On the topic of engagement, one of the keys to connecting and engaging others is the simple (yet powerful) gesture of an invitation. This post was inspired by the prolific John Maxwell whose new LinkedIn group gave me the inspiration.
Leaders, Honor Thy People - On the topic of leadership, I was invited to be a guest blogger at the excellent About Leaders site that is run by Dr. Mary Kay Whitaker and Ron Whitaker. This post, on the importance of honoring your people, has struck a chord.
One more thing: My friend and fellow blogger Dave Summers interviewed me, about my book, for his blog Busted Missive. Check it out here.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Friday February 17, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
My New Book: To Your Success!
After years of preparation, I finally self-published my first book the other day. Called To Your Success," it is a motivational guidebook for anyone who is "in transition" seeking their next job or searching for more meaningful work.
As the great writing coach William Zinsser once said, "Write what you know." As a veteran of the job search, being "in transition" is something that I know quite well.
The topics covered include:
- identifying your strengths
- clarifying your mission
- writing your accomplishments
- setting goals
- telling your story
- building your resilience
- strengthening your confidence
- learning to sell yourself
- overcoming obstacles
- managing your time
- making change happen
- learning from failure
- achieving success
If you are out of work, or know someone who is searching, then consider this guide. Having been there myself, and having helped many job hunters these past several years, I know how difficult it is.
But there is a process. And it does work.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Friday February 10, 2012
Monday, February 06, 2012
Fail Well
Have you failed lately? Rather than shuddering at such a question, it may be time to rethink the role and value of failure in life.
At Wimbledon school for girls in the UK, they are having Failure Week, a program intended to boost the resilience and courage of their students.
Headmistress Heather Hanbury says that the program's emphasis will be "on the value of having a go, rather than playing it safe and perhaps achieving less."
When we are kids, the socialization process teaches us that failure is bad and to be avoided. When you get bad grades in school, for example, you sweated the eventual showdown with your parents. Our culture says "Failure is not an option," which pretty strongly slams the door on failure.
At the same time, there has been another school of thought on failure, reflected in such thoughts as these:
Thomas Edison: "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward."
This is what Heather Hanbury is building on with her Failure Week program. She says:
"The girls need to learn how to fail well - and how to get over it and cope with it. Fear of failing can be really crippling and stop the girls doing things they really want to do. The pupils are hugely successful but can sometimes overreact to failure even though it can sometimes be enormously beneficial to them. We want them to be brave - to have courage in the classroom."
And in their lives. Knowing that fear of failure can hold them back, Heather Hanbury wants to equip her students with a healthier outlook.
Don't play it safe. Have a go!
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Monday February 6, 2012
At Wimbledon school for girls in the UK, they are having Failure Week, a program intended to boost the resilience and courage of their students.
Headmistress Heather Hanbury says that the program's emphasis will be "on the value of having a go, rather than playing it safe and perhaps achieving less."
When we are kids, the socialization process teaches us that failure is bad and to be avoided. When you get bad grades in school, for example, you sweated the eventual showdown with your parents. Our culture says "Failure is not an option," which pretty strongly slams the door on failure.
At the same time, there has been another school of thought on failure, reflected in such thoughts as these:
Thomas Edison: "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward."
This is what Heather Hanbury is building on with her Failure Week program. She says:
"The girls need to learn how to fail well - and how to get over it and cope with it. Fear of failing can be really crippling and stop the girls doing things they really want to do. The pupils are hugely successful but can sometimes overreact to failure even though it can sometimes be enormously beneficial to them. We want them to be brave - to have courage in the classroom."
And in their lives. Knowing that fear of failure can hold them back, Heather Hanbury wants to equip her students with a healthier outlook.
Don't play it safe. Have a go!
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Monday February 6, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
The Process of Improving
Looking to improve something in your life in 2012? Perhaps you are thinking of improving yourself? If you are looking to improve your team or your business, here are seven steps to process improvement.
P = Pick your target. Picture success. What would it look like if you actually reached your improvement goal? Envision it as specifically as you can.
R = Review your starting point. Where do things stand right now? What are your strengths that can help you reach the goal? What obstacles stand in your way? Make a list of each using the Force Field diagram where Driving Forces are listed on the left and Hindering Forces on the right. (This excellent strategic change management tool, the Force Field Analysis method, was developed by Organization Development founder Kurt Lewin, and was one of the first OD tools I learned.)
O = Open up. Have you ever been on the receiving end of an improvement hatched behind closed doors? Don't repeat that mistake. Who could help you with this improvement project? Why not tell them about your goal and ask for their support?
C = Collaborate. Invite participation. Form teams. Remember that people support what they help create.
E = Execute. After enough study, select the best ideas and put them into action. See what happens. Remember it's OK to start small.
S = Sustain. If things start to get better, reinforce the gains. If you don't, watch out. Things may revert back to the previous state.
S = Start again. Improving your process is never-ending.
What are you waiting for? Pick your target. Start improving.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Thursday January 26, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Afflicting the Comfortable
As a youngster, I dutifully attended religion classes and learned many things that have stayed with me through life. The Corporal Works of Mercy, for example:
- To feed the hungry.
- To give drink to the thirsty.
- To shelter the homeless.
- To clothe the naked.
- To visit and ransom the captive.
- To visit the sick.
- To bury the dead.
In sum, to comfort the afflicted.
Somewhere later down the line, I learned another one, that turns the summary on its head:
- To afflict the comfortable.
That one was NOT taught in catechism, if my memory serves. However, it's there, for those who have eyes to see. Afflicting the comfortable is the job description of prophets. That's why they are so often thrown in jail, run out of town, and even crucified.
In today's world, who is fulfilling this prophetic role? Journalists have laid claim. The Occupy Wall Street protesters more recently.
Anyone else? To my way of thinking, there are others in life whose job description contains Afflicting the Comfortable:
Parents - What is the ultimate goal of a parent? To see their offspring fly out of the nest, set free to soar to their own destiny. What is the way to this goal? Love and Release. The embrace of love must someday turn into the loving push that may seem like an affliction but is necessary to release the child once they are ready to go.
Coaches - What is the goal of a coach? To raise the level of performance of a player or a team. What is the way to this goal? The best formula I've seen is G*R*O*W (from The Inner Game of Tennis) where the coach helps the other person to set a Goal, examine the starting Reality, identify Obstacles, and develop a Way forward. In the process, the most effective coaches ask questions that challenge and push the player to achieve more.
The legendary football coach Ara Parseghian once said, "A good coach will make his players see what they can be rather than what they are."
Change Agents - What is the goal of a change agent? To help the client to change for the better. In organizations, this is definitely easier said than done. Many organizational change efforts fail because of reluctance to change, even when the client invited the change agent in for that very purpose. What then is the way to the goal? Change agents must be ready to afflict the comfortable. To point to the elephant in the room that no one sees, or dares speak of. To "speak truth to power," to tell the emperor he has no clothes.
Like the prophet of old, the change agent may be tossed out for such truth-telling. The truth hurts. But that's the job. Take it or leave it.
How about you? Is there someone in your life (perhaps yourself) who has gotten too comfortable, and needs to be afflicted?
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Sunday January 22, 2012
- To feed the hungry.
- To give drink to the thirsty.
- To shelter the homeless.
- To clothe the naked.
- To visit and ransom the captive.
- To visit the sick.
- To bury the dead.
In sum, to comfort the afflicted.
Somewhere later down the line, I learned another one, that turns the summary on its head:
- To afflict the comfortable.
That one was NOT taught in catechism, if my memory serves. However, it's there, for those who have eyes to see. Afflicting the comfortable is the job description of prophets. That's why they are so often thrown in jail, run out of town, and even crucified.
In today's world, who is fulfilling this prophetic role? Journalists have laid claim. The Occupy Wall Street protesters more recently.
Anyone else? To my way of thinking, there are others in life whose job description contains Afflicting the Comfortable:
Parents - What is the ultimate goal of a parent? To see their offspring fly out of the nest, set free to soar to their own destiny. What is the way to this goal? Love and Release. The embrace of love must someday turn into the loving push that may seem like an affliction but is necessary to release the child once they are ready to go.
Coaches - What is the goal of a coach? To raise the level of performance of a player or a team. What is the way to this goal? The best formula I've seen is G*R*O*W (from The Inner Game of Tennis) where the coach helps the other person to set a Goal, examine the starting Reality, identify Obstacles, and develop a Way forward. In the process, the most effective coaches ask questions that challenge and push the player to achieve more.
The legendary football coach Ara Parseghian once said, "A good coach will make his players see what they can be rather than what they are."
Change Agents - What is the goal of a change agent? To help the client to change for the better. In organizations, this is definitely easier said than done. Many organizational change efforts fail because of reluctance to change, even when the client invited the change agent in for that very purpose. What then is the way to the goal? Change agents must be ready to afflict the comfortable. To point to the elephant in the room that no one sees, or dares speak of. To "speak truth to power," to tell the emperor he has no clothes.
Like the prophet of old, the change agent may be tossed out for such truth-telling. The truth hurts. But that's the job. Take it or leave it.
How about you? Is there someone in your life (perhaps yourself) who has gotten too comfortable, and needs to be afflicted?
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Sunday January 22, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Goal Setting Made S*I*M*P*L*E
In the training and consulting that I do, I talk about goals quite a bit. Goals are fundamental to success in life. The latest research on success by Dr. Heidi Halvorson points to the importance of setting very specific goals.
My impression, however, is that most people don't set goals. Perhaps they don't buy it, or they don't get it. Or perhaps they did, at one time, but something got in the way, and their goals faded away.
What's the problem then? The SMART (Specific, Measurable, Aggressive, Realistic, and Time bound) formula has stood the test of time quite well. Is something missing?
For those who have been staying clear of goals, for whatever reason, here is a six-point model that I call Goal Setting made S*I*M*P*L*E:
S = Stop to think about what you want out of life. To make more money? Get a better job? Move to a different state? What do you aspire to? What would make you happier?
I = Important vs Urgent: We get so caught up in the crises of the moment that we hardly spend any time asking ourselves, What is most important to me? Make time each week to find a quiet place where you can reflect upon what is truly important.
M = Make a list of the ideas that could help you move toward your goal. Make another list of the obstacles you are likely to encounter. This will keep your goal setting realistic, and help you identify the resources you'll tap into to make the journey.
P = Put a plan together that identifies the first steps you can start to take now that will get you moving in the desired direction.
L = Let others know what you are striving for and ask for their input and support. They will be happy to help.
E = Execute the plan a step at a time, one day at a time. There will be bad days, even setbacks. You may be tempted to throw in the towel at times. But stay focused on the goal you have selected.
A wise book on this process is "Oh the Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss. I highly recommend it.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Saturday January 21, 2012
My impression, however, is that most people don't set goals. Perhaps they don't buy it, or they don't get it. Or perhaps they did, at one time, but something got in the way, and their goals faded away.
What's the problem then? The SMART (Specific, Measurable, Aggressive, Realistic, and Time bound) formula has stood the test of time quite well. Is something missing?
For those who have been staying clear of goals, for whatever reason, here is a six-point model that I call Goal Setting made S*I*M*P*L*E:
S = Stop to think about what you want out of life. To make more money? Get a better job? Move to a different state? What do you aspire to? What would make you happier?
I = Important vs Urgent: We get so caught up in the crises of the moment that we hardly spend any time asking ourselves, What is most important to me? Make time each week to find a quiet place where you can reflect upon what is truly important.
M = Make a list of the ideas that could help you move toward your goal. Make another list of the obstacles you are likely to encounter. This will keep your goal setting realistic, and help you identify the resources you'll tap into to make the journey.
P = Put a plan together that identifies the first steps you can start to take now that will get you moving in the desired direction.
L = Let others know what you are striving for and ask for their input and support. They will be happy to help.
E = Execute the plan a step at a time, one day at a time. There will be bad days, even setbacks. You may be tempted to throw in the towel at times. But stay focused on the goal you have selected.
A wise book on this process is "Oh the Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss. I highly recommend it.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Saturday January 21, 2012
Sunday, January 08, 2012
Your New Year Epiphany
It's January 8th in the new year of 2012. Have you had an epiphany yet?
The ancient word "epiphany" comes from the Greek meaning "to show forth." Like a light appearing in a dark room. In more recent usage, some have likened epiphany to the "aha moment" when an idea suddenly occurs to us, like a light bulb appearing in our minds.
An epiphany comes when we least expect it. It's a surprise. A gift.
Writing about the feast of the Epiphany in his daily e-newsletter, Fr. Richard Rohr says that it is about seeing with wonder. The Magi who followed a star to find the newborn king were "questing in wonder." What they found was a mother and father and their baby, huddled in a humble manager.
As a new year opens, what star are you following?
An epiphany can be a very small, ordinary thing. On twitter this morning, South African artist Laureen Raftopulos wrote: "Live in the moment by becoming fully aware of the beauty in the smallest of things around you."
That's a good mantra for living epiphany.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Sunday January 8, 2012
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
To Your Specific Success
Driving my son Kevin to the train the other morning, I asked him if he had given any thought to his New Year's Resolutions. To my surprise, he said "Yes."
Kevin is a recent college graduate (Rutgers, Class of 2009) who has embarked upon a career in television, working as an editor for a well-known food show, based in New York City.
His goal, he told me, is to make a very specific move within his line of business, a move that would be a good next step in his career path in television.
I was happy to hear that. I offered some words of support to encourage him. And I told him that he is doing one of the things that Dr. Heidi Halvorson says that highly successful people do, namely: set very specific goals.
In her research (published last year in the Harvard Business Review), Halvorson found that successful people do a number of things differently that contribute to their success. And when it comes to goals, she has some very clear pointers to offer:
1. Get very specific - By getting very specific, you will know when you have reached the goal. When goals are too general or vague, their fuzziness contributes to gradual loss of interest. How many times have your New Year's Resolutions just drifted away on you?
2. Use mental contrasting - The technique Halvorson calls "mental contrasting" involves going back and forth in your thoughts between the goal and what stands in your way. By doing this, she says you generate the energizing experience of "the necessity to act — a psychological state that is crucial for achieving any goal."
Halvorson's idea about the right psychological state reminded me of a book I had given to myself back in December as an early Christmas present: Immunity to Change by Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey. In their book, they provide a remarkable insight into the reasons why changes fail so often, changes such as the ones we try to capture in our New Year's Resolutions. In a nutshell, we fail to attain our goals because we harbor a "hidden commitment" to not change and we back away from the anxiety that change arouses deep within our psyches.
So, to all of you reading this who are contemplating your New Year's Resolutions -- especially job hunters, recent graduates, and anyone seeking the golden ring of success in life--consider the importance of setting very specific goals.
By following this advice, you increase the likelihood of actually reaching your goals.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Wednesday January 4, 2012
Kevin is a recent college graduate (Rutgers, Class of 2009) who has embarked upon a career in television, working as an editor for a well-known food show, based in New York City.
His goal, he told me, is to make a very specific move within his line of business, a move that would be a good next step in his career path in television.
I was happy to hear that. I offered some words of support to encourage him. And I told him that he is doing one of the things that Dr. Heidi Halvorson says that highly successful people do, namely: set very specific goals.
In her research (published last year in the Harvard Business Review), Halvorson found that successful people do a number of things differently that contribute to their success. And when it comes to goals, she has some very clear pointers to offer:
1. Get very specific - By getting very specific, you will know when you have reached the goal. When goals are too general or vague, their fuzziness contributes to gradual loss of interest. How many times have your New Year's Resolutions just drifted away on you?
2. Use mental contrasting - The technique Halvorson calls "mental contrasting" involves going back and forth in your thoughts between the goal and what stands in your way. By doing this, she says you generate the energizing experience of "the necessity to act — a psychological state that is crucial for achieving any goal."
Halvorson's idea about the right psychological state reminded me of a book I had given to myself back in December as an early Christmas present: Immunity to Change by Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey. In their book, they provide a remarkable insight into the reasons why changes fail so often, changes such as the ones we try to capture in our New Year's Resolutions. In a nutshell, we fail to attain our goals because we harbor a "hidden commitment" to not change and we back away from the anxiety that change arouses deep within our psyches.
So, to all of you reading this who are contemplating your New Year's Resolutions -- especially job hunters, recent graduates, and anyone seeking the golden ring of success in life--consider the importance of setting very specific goals.
By following this advice, you increase the likelihood of actually reaching your goals.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Wednesday January 4, 2012
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Happy New Year 2012
The name of the first month, January, comes from the Roman god Janus who has two faces, one that looks back, and one that looks ahead. A perfect name for the month when we turn the page and start a new year.
Looking back at 2011, one of the highlights for me was the opportunity to contribute to several global articles on Organization Development, including this interview.
As an OD practitioner, I've often said that the place to be is in the midst of change. "Change is where the action is," so to speak.
Over my career span, that is often exactly where I have found myself. Change is a crucible of learning. It can get hot in there. But if you can take it, it will strengthen you.
At last night's New Year's Eve party, a friend showed up who had changed: he had lost 40 pounds. We were all impressed by his achievement. How did he do it? Discipline. He had set a goal for himself. He resolved to achieve it. And he persisted, without slipping back to his old ways.
It got me thinking about conversion and the Greek term metanoia which means "changing one's mind." I think that is part of the formula for making real change.
Looking ahead to 2012, let me quote a tweet I saw today from my friend Don Blohowiak:
~ "Change in New Year: Commit to *learning* & results. Anticipate setbacks. Identify who can help. Enlist their support. Start. Persist!"
Well said, Don. Here's to change. Now is the time to think about the changes you want to pursue this year. As Don says, commit to your goal. Resolve to improve. Go for it!
Happy new year! May the promise of 2012 bring you health, prosperity, and peace.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Sunday January 1, 2012
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Fight VUCA Stress in 2012
At a Christmas party this week, I took an informal poll on the question "At your workplace, what would really help you and your fellow workers most in 2012?" I heard these answers:
- hire more staff
- shorten meetings
- communicate and listen more
- be more appreciative, flexible, and considerate
- provide more training
As I keep my finger on the pulse of my diverse clients here in New Jersey, I notice that stress has been pretty high in the workplace. My prediction for 2012 is that stress will continue to stay at a heightened level.
Why? According to recent news reports on the U.S. economy, hiring will be slow in 2012, and many employers are planning further headcount cuts. Workloads, however, are likely to keep going up. "Doing more with less" will continue.
This is the main driver of workplace stress! When you combine workloads, pressure, and time shortages, with uncertainty and chaos, much of it due to organizational change, watch out: stress will increase. As decades of stress research has taught us, the more stress, the greater the negative effects.
Should managers care? In short, Yes. Stress takes a big toll on employee engagement, on performance, and on health. In today's whitewater working environment, managers need to develop leadership capabilities for resilience in themselves and others.
What can managers do? In military schools, leaders are taught about VUCA, an acronym that stands for Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity, and Ambiguity. VUCA environments, like many of today's hyper-stressed workplaces, demand much of those in leadership roles.
With VUCA as a framework, here are four more elements that I believe are key in today's workplaces:
Volatile - The more things change, the more the volatility that people have to deal with. As Holmes and Rahe taught us decades ago, change means stress. The more change, the more stress, the greater the danger. Managers and their teams need to toughen their change readiness capability to withstand such volatility.
Uncertain - In uncertain environments, predictability drops, and surprises rise. In such a climate, planning, organizing, and adaptability take on a critical importance for managers and their teams.
Complex - You know you are dealing with complexity when confusion and chaos become the norm. Many of the problems that teams face in today's organizations are truly complex. This means there are no obvious "low hanging fruit" solutions that they can quickly implement. Instead, managers and their teams need to learn new ways to think critically and creatively to solve the dilemmas they face.
Ambiguous - In the midst of chaos, a team needs the mental ability to maintain their "line of sight" toward their objective. Having a clear and compelling sense of purpose ('Where can I do the most good for the business right now?') helps to laser focus on the most pressing priorities.
If you are a Manager right now, consider the above as a checklist for 2012. What do you resolve to work on to help your team cope with the stress in your organization?
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Thursday December 29, 2011
- hire more staff
- shorten meetings
- communicate and listen more
- be more appreciative, flexible, and considerate
- provide more training
As I keep my finger on the pulse of my diverse clients here in New Jersey, I notice that stress has been pretty high in the workplace. My prediction for 2012 is that stress will continue to stay at a heightened level.
Why? According to recent news reports on the U.S. economy, hiring will be slow in 2012, and many employers are planning further headcount cuts. Workloads, however, are likely to keep going up. "Doing more with less" will continue.
This is the main driver of workplace stress! When you combine workloads, pressure, and time shortages, with uncertainty and chaos, much of it due to organizational change, watch out: stress will increase. As decades of stress research has taught us, the more stress, the greater the negative effects.
Should managers care? In short, Yes. Stress takes a big toll on employee engagement, on performance, and on health. In today's whitewater working environment, managers need to develop leadership capabilities for resilience in themselves and others.
What can managers do? In military schools, leaders are taught about VUCA, an acronym that stands for Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity, and Ambiguity. VUCA environments, like many of today's hyper-stressed workplaces, demand much of those in leadership roles.
With VUCA as a framework, here are four more elements that I believe are key in today's workplaces:
Volatile - The more things change, the more the volatility that people have to deal with. As Holmes and Rahe taught us decades ago, change means stress. The more change, the more stress, the greater the danger. Managers and their teams need to toughen their change readiness capability to withstand such volatility.
Uncertain - In uncertain environments, predictability drops, and surprises rise. In such a climate, planning, organizing, and adaptability take on a critical importance for managers and their teams.
Complex - You know you are dealing with complexity when confusion and chaos become the norm. Many of the problems that teams face in today's organizations are truly complex. This means there are no obvious "low hanging fruit" solutions that they can quickly implement. Instead, managers and their teams need to learn new ways to think critically and creatively to solve the dilemmas they face.
Ambiguous - In the midst of chaos, a team needs the mental ability to maintain their "line of sight" toward their objective. Having a clear and compelling sense of purpose ('Where can I do the most good for the business right now?') helps to laser focus on the most pressing priorities.
If you are a Manager right now, consider the above as a checklist for 2012. What do you resolve to work on to help your team cope with the stress in your organization?
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Thursday December 29, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
The True Meaning of Christmas
As the Catholic son of a Jewish mother, I've always had a mixture of feelings about Christmas. On one hand, it's definitely my favorite time of the year. On the other hand, I am saddened that so many find no joy in its celebration.
Yesterday, I came across a blog post by communications consultant Shel Israel, called "A Jew's View of Christmas," a bittersweet remembrance of growing up as a Jew and watching the Christians around him enjoying Christmas.
This is the comment I left on his blog.
For me, the meaning of Christmas comes down to one word: Gift. In the Gospel story, gift is a central image and idea:
~ The Incarnation is God coming into the world as a gift of love and transformation.
~ The baby is an unexpected gift to Mary and Joseph.
~ And the Magi bring extraordinary gifts to the Holy Family.
So the best way to keep Christmas? Here are five ways:
G - Give the gift of yourself to others
I - Inspire others with peace and joy
F - Find the star in your life that leads you
T - Take the Spirit of Christmas with you wherever you go
S - Say thanks often for all the gifts you have been given
As a kid, I remember a TV commercial that said, “You don’t have to be Jewish to like Levi’s Rye Bread.” I think the same goes for Christmas. You don’t have to be Christian to like Christmas.
As the song lyric says, "It's the most wonderful time of the year!"
My wish to all is Joy to the world. And let me echo Shel Israel's closing wish: "Happy holidays, and may the New Year bring all of us closer to peace on Earth.”
Amen.
Enjoy the season. Give your gifts. Be the blessing.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Tuesday December 20, 2011
Yesterday, I came across a blog post by communications consultant Shel Israel, called "A Jew's View of Christmas," a bittersweet remembrance of growing up as a Jew and watching the Christians around him enjoying Christmas.
This is the comment I left on his blog.
For me, the meaning of Christmas comes down to one word: Gift. In the Gospel story, gift is a central image and idea:
~ The Incarnation is God coming into the world as a gift of love and transformation.
~ The baby is an unexpected gift to Mary and Joseph.
~ And the Magi bring extraordinary gifts to the Holy Family.
So the best way to keep Christmas? Here are five ways:
G - Give the gift of yourself to others
I - Inspire others with peace and joy
F - Find the star in your life that leads you
T - Take the Spirit of Christmas with you wherever you go
S - Say thanks often for all the gifts you have been given
As a kid, I remember a TV commercial that said, “You don’t have to be Jewish to like Levi’s Rye Bread.” I think the same goes for Christmas. You don’t have to be Christian to like Christmas.
As the song lyric says, "It's the most wonderful time of the year!"
My wish to all is Joy to the world. And let me echo Shel Israel's closing wish: "Happy holidays, and may the New Year bring all of us closer to peace on Earth.”
Amen.
Enjoy the season. Give your gifts. Be the blessing.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Tuesday December 20, 2011
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Positive Demolition
"You know how I handle stress?" the workshop participant answered. "I use positive demolition."
The speaker was a participant in a recent stress management class. He was one of a group of very busy technical managers with lots to do in the demanding and fast-paced environment of a global pharmachem company.
Positive Demolition, I echoed. "What's that?"
He said: "Sometimes, what eases my stress the best is the opportunity to destroy something. Like busting down a wall so I can expand a room in my house. When I bust down a wall, I feel great. I take all my frustrations out on that wall."
The other participants were enjoying this. They were each up against a lot of stress at work. Overloaded, overstretched, dumped on.
"I feel a lot better afterwards," he said.
Listening to their discussion, I could tell that the wall was substituting for something (or someone) else that they wished they could pummel into dust.
Here are several ideas for how you can implement the principle of Positive Demolition...and reduce your stress:
Break - Take a break. Step away. Go for a walk. Change your scene.
Relax - Learn to relax. Try the three step approach: 1) Sit in a comfy chair 2) Breathing normally 3) With pleasant thoughts.
Exercise - Some form of physical exercise is highly recommended for building your body's resilience against stress.
Analyze - What triggers your stress? Is it your boss? your customer? Identify your triggers and avoid them if possible.
Keep Busy - Don't sit and stew in your own angry juices. Channel your energy into something positive such as your work, a project, or a relationship.
So go ahead. Try some Positive Demolition. Break things up, knock things down, take things apart. You may be glad you did.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Sunday December 18, 2011
The speaker was a participant in a recent stress management class. He was one of a group of very busy technical managers with lots to do in the demanding and fast-paced environment of a global pharmachem company.
Positive Demolition, I echoed. "What's that?"
He said: "Sometimes, what eases my stress the best is the opportunity to destroy something. Like busting down a wall so I can expand a room in my house. When I bust down a wall, I feel great. I take all my frustrations out on that wall."
The other participants were enjoying this. They were each up against a lot of stress at work. Overloaded, overstretched, dumped on.
"I feel a lot better afterwards," he said.
Listening to their discussion, I could tell that the wall was substituting for something (or someone) else that they wished they could pummel into dust.
Here are several ideas for how you can implement the principle of Positive Demolition...and reduce your stress:
Break - Take a break. Step away. Go for a walk. Change your scene.
Relax - Learn to relax. Try the three step approach: 1) Sit in a comfy chair 2) Breathing normally 3) With pleasant thoughts.
Exercise - Some form of physical exercise is highly recommended for building your body's resilience against stress.
Analyze - What triggers your stress? Is it your boss? your customer? Identify your triggers and avoid them if possible.
Keep Busy - Don't sit and stew in your own angry juices. Channel your energy into something positive such as your work, a project, or a relationship.
So go ahead. Try some Positive Demolition. Break things up, knock things down, take things apart. You may be glad you did.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Sunday December 18, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
The Teaching of Suffering
You've heard the old expression "If you want an omelette, you have to break some eggs."
Came across this quote the other day:
~ There is no oil without squeezing the olives; no wine without pressing the grapes; no fragrance without crushing the flower.
I don't know who wrote it or where it's from. But I like it.
As a believer in synchronicity, I'm wondering what the message is for me. My mom had a saying: "It's a sign."
At the moment, here's the message I'm coming up with.
Sometimes, to obtain the sweetest things in life, you have to suffer first. Perhaps a great deal of suffering. Maybe even to death.
Khalil Gibran wrote: "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls . . . seared with scars."
There are many who are suffering. The 14 million unemployed Americans, and their families, who live each day in ever-increasing desperation. The family of a slain police officer. The grieving widower who lost his wife.
Recently, in working with some of my clients, we have been discussing the topic of coping with adversity in the workplace. An Operations manager, who is a veteran, said that he is teaching his team to "Adapt and Overcome," a principle he learned as a soldier.
At the Marines Blog, the author writes about how "Adapt and Overcome" helps returning soldiers deal with post-traumatic stress as they struggle back into civilian life:
"(My song) 'Lucky One' is the story of a service member dealing with the effects of PTSD and combat stress after losing three close friends in an IED blast. When he returns home, his mind continually relives the moment while those around him say how lucky he was to have survived. In this case, he doesn’t feel like the lucky one as he deals with the effects of combat stress and finds himself on the verge of an irreversible decision. I know service members and friends who struggle with these issues. With “Lucky One” I hope to tell a story that lets service members know, that even though they may feel alone, there are others struggling with the stress and concerns of combat and military life and it’s okay to seek help. It’s sometimes easy to recognize service members with physical scars but much more difficult to see the scars that hide deep inside of those suffering..."
Suffering is the lesson and we are the students. If we pass the test and are successful, it is because we adapted, we overcame the trial.
Helen Keller wrote: "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it."
Charles Dickens wrote: "Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape."
Like bread broken and shared. It doesn't nourish until we tear it apart and eat it.
~ There is no oil without squeezing the olives; no wine without pressing the grapes; no fragrance without crushing the flower.
No sweetness without suffering.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Monday December 12, 2011
Came across this quote the other day:
~ There is no oil without squeezing the olives; no wine without pressing the grapes; no fragrance without crushing the flower.
I don't know who wrote it or where it's from. But I like it.
As a believer in synchronicity, I'm wondering what the message is for me. My mom had a saying: "It's a sign."
At the moment, here's the message I'm coming up with.
Sometimes, to obtain the sweetest things in life, you have to suffer first. Perhaps a great deal of suffering. Maybe even to death.
Khalil Gibran wrote: "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls . . . seared with scars."
There are many who are suffering. The 14 million unemployed Americans, and their families, who live each day in ever-increasing desperation. The family of a slain police officer. The grieving widower who lost his wife.
Recently, in working with some of my clients, we have been discussing the topic of coping with adversity in the workplace. An Operations manager, who is a veteran, said that he is teaching his team to "Adapt and Overcome," a principle he learned as a soldier.
At the Marines Blog, the author writes about how "Adapt and Overcome" helps returning soldiers deal with post-traumatic stress as they struggle back into civilian life:
"(My song) 'Lucky One' is the story of a service member dealing with the effects of PTSD and combat stress after losing three close friends in an IED blast. When he returns home, his mind continually relives the moment while those around him say how lucky he was to have survived. In this case, he doesn’t feel like the lucky one as he deals with the effects of combat stress and finds himself on the verge of an irreversible decision. I know service members and friends who struggle with these issues. With “Lucky One” I hope to tell a story that lets service members know, that even though they may feel alone, there are others struggling with the stress and concerns of combat and military life and it’s okay to seek help. It’s sometimes easy to recognize service members with physical scars but much more difficult to see the scars that hide deep inside of those suffering..."
Suffering is the lesson and we are the students. If we pass the test and are successful, it is because we adapted, we overcame the trial.
Helen Keller wrote: "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it."
Charles Dickens wrote: "Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape."
Like bread broken and shared. It doesn't nourish until we tear it apart and eat it.
~ There is no oil without squeezing the olives; no wine without pressing the grapes; no fragrance without crushing the flower.
No sweetness without suffering.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Monday December 12, 2011
Thursday, December 08, 2011
The "No" Principle
Bronnie Ware is an Australian songwriter, author, blogger and creative soul. She recently released a book titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, wherein she shares the sad thoughts of people she met in palliative care:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Bronnie Ware writes: "When you are on your deathbed, what is (on) your mind? How wonderful to be able to let go and smile . . . Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness."
She is right. Life is a choice.
The Spanish philosopher Jose Ortega y Gasset once wrote, "Living is the constant process of deciding what we are going to do."
And every Yes is accompanied by a No. Like the yin and yang principle in Buddhist thought, whenever you have one, you also have the other.
For many of us, especially those in the corporate world, saying No has become forbidden. Against the corporate culture, so to speak:
- "We are customer focused. We don't say No here."
- "Saying No is too negative. It would upset people."
- "Saying No a lot makes others wonder what you are doing. They may suspect you are a slacker, lazy."
- "If you say No, it looks like you are not a team player."
So what happens when the answer No is banished? In a word, burnout. I worked for a great boss (and a sweet guy) years ago. I'll call him H. Very smart, very experienced, very considerate. But he could not say No. As a result, he and his team became overwhelmed with work, all of it Top Priority. We just didn't have the resources to do it all. We lost our edge, drowned in the work, and ended up with a fiasco on our hands that blemished all of us.
While you don't want to come off like Dr. No, saying No all the time to every request, you have got to say No sometimes. It's vital to your effectiveness, your happiness, and to your success in life.
Here are four approaches to saying No:
- Refuse - Turn the request down by giving a solid reason, such as "I can't do that because we do not have the resources available."
- Refer - Point the requestor to another source of help, for example: "I can't help you with that, but I think Charlie can. Let me call him and ask."
- Reschedule - When you tell the requestor that now is not a good time, suggest a better time and schedule it.
- Recommend - After hearing and understanding the request, suggest an alternate route to a solution, for example: "I can't do that for you. Have you considered bringing in contract help?"
Re-read those five regrets above. Do you sense, in-between-the-lines, the failure to say No? Life is a choice. Every choice is a Yes, and a No. We all need to cultivate the presence of the "No" Principle in our lives, so that when we reach the end, we can look back and smile with contentment on a life well lived.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Thursday December 8, 2011
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Bronnie Ware writes: "When you are on your deathbed, what is (on) your mind? How wonderful to be able to let go and smile . . . Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness."
She is right. Life is a choice.
The Spanish philosopher Jose Ortega y Gasset once wrote, "Living is the constant process of deciding what we are going to do."
And every Yes is accompanied by a No. Like the yin and yang principle in Buddhist thought, whenever you have one, you also have the other.
For many of us, especially those in the corporate world, saying No has become forbidden. Against the corporate culture, so to speak:
- "We are customer focused. We don't say No here."
- "Saying No is too negative. It would upset people."
- "Saying No a lot makes others wonder what you are doing. They may suspect you are a slacker, lazy."
- "If you say No, it looks like you are not a team player."
So what happens when the answer No is banished? In a word, burnout. I worked for a great boss (and a sweet guy) years ago. I'll call him H. Very smart, very experienced, very considerate. But he could not say No. As a result, he and his team became overwhelmed with work, all of it Top Priority. We just didn't have the resources to do it all. We lost our edge, drowned in the work, and ended up with a fiasco on our hands that blemished all of us.
While you don't want to come off like Dr. No, saying No all the time to every request, you have got to say No sometimes. It's vital to your effectiveness, your happiness, and to your success in life.
Here are four approaches to saying No:
- Refuse - Turn the request down by giving a solid reason, such as "I can't do that because we do not have the resources available."
- Refer - Point the requestor to another source of help, for example: "I can't help you with that, but I think Charlie can. Let me call him and ask."
- Reschedule - When you tell the requestor that now is not a good time, suggest a better time and schedule it.
- Recommend - After hearing and understanding the request, suggest an alternate route to a solution, for example: "I can't do that for you. Have you considered bringing in contract help?"
Re-read those five regrets above. Do you sense, in-between-the-lines, the failure to say No? Life is a choice. Every choice is a Yes, and a No. We all need to cultivate the presence of the "No" Principle in our lives, so that when we reach the end, we can look back and smile with contentment on a life well lived.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Thursday December 8, 2011
Saturday, December 03, 2011
Real Change
Many have wondered what the Occupy Wall Street protests are all about. This morning, while listening (and butting into) my son Kevin's podcast recording session, "Stuck Between Stations," the topic turned to the economy and society.
Kevin and his co-host Peter Tumulty, and their guest Patrick Healy, agreed that Occupy Wall Street is a social movement that is saying "Enough is enough."
The protesters don't have specific demands because the issue is not specific. Instead, the issue is the need for fundamental change. Radical change. Real change.
Filmmaker Ian MacKenzie has made a great little video about what Occupy Wall Street means. He believes that there is a shift in consciousness going on right now. I hope he is right.
There are millions mired in misery right now, just inches away from foreclosure, homelessness, and hitting rock bottom.
It is time for real change.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Saturday December 3, 2011
Kevin and his co-host Peter Tumulty, and their guest Patrick Healy, agreed that Occupy Wall Street is a social movement that is saying "Enough is enough."
The protesters don't have specific demands because the issue is not specific. Instead, the issue is the need for fundamental change. Radical change. Real change.
Filmmaker Ian MacKenzie has made a great little video about what Occupy Wall Street means. He believes that there is a shift in consciousness going on right now. I hope he is right.
There are millions mired in misery right now, just inches away from foreclosure, homelessness, and hitting rock bottom.
It is time for real change.
Posted by Terrence Seamon on Saturday December 3, 2011
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